Christmas on Planet Holiday
by Irrepressable
Summary: The Doctor takes Clara to a planet where half the year is Christmas. The two get stuck in an inn, stranded there by a blizzard, and drink way too much Noellian rum. They eventually head up to their room, where Clara gives the Doctor a very special "present".


**Hello, readers. I'm going to have to tell you that you might have to expect quite a bit of time before I can do more updates. My keyboard broke, but my mother has allowed me to type this story on her laptop. She's the best. BTW, I got a new set of pans for Christmas. YAY! Now I can get rid of my crappy old ones! It's a good day. Wherever you are in the world, me and the rest of the Pressable family wish you the best Christmas ever.**

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Clara stepped out of the TARDIS and gasped when she saw her surroundings. The area was blanketed in perfectly white snow and the trees were adorned in fairy lights. The Doctor stepped out behind her and said, "Welcome to Planet Holiday, Clara Oswald."

"Why does it look like it's Christmas here?" Clara asked

"That's because half the year is Christmas." the Time Lord replied.

"What's the other half?" Clara asked.

"Halloween." the Doctor replied. "Well, one week is Easter, only the rabbit has massive fangs and requires offerings of chocolate to appease it so it won't eat the village's livestock and maybe a child or two."

"That's awful." Clara said with a frown.

"Blame one of their religions, Lagomorphism." the Doctor said. "They keep cloning the damn thing and I can never locate their facility."

"Wait, are you saying that they _worship _that thing?" Clara asked.

"It's hardly the strangest religion on this planet." the Time Lord said, rolling his eyes. "There are weirder people."

"What do _they_ worship?" Clara was curious.

"Steve Jobs." the Doctor replied. "It's a bit too complicated to explain and extremely stupid."

"Will we have to worry about them?" Clara asked. "My mobile isn't an iPhone."

"Probably not." the Doctor said. "They can usually be found in the southern hemisphere. We're in the northern hemisphere."

"All right." Clara said, somewhat relieved.

"The fire-breathing land-squids are also hibernating during this part of the year." the Doctor added.

"Fire-breathing land-squids?" Clara was very concerned. "This place has _fire-breathing land-squids_?"

"Only during Easter!" the Doctor said defensively.

"Remind me to tell you to never come here during Easter." Clara said with a frown.

"Let's just go to the village." the Doctor sighed. "Come on. You'll like it."

The Time Lord then turned to head to the village. Clara, of course, followed behind. The Impossible Girl rubbed her arms and said, "Now I know why you told me to wear the ugly Chrismas jumper."

"It should be warm enough." the Doctor said with a shrug.

"Why aren't you wearing one?" Clara asked.

"Superior Time Lord biology." the Doctor replied. "I can be comfortable in much lower temperatures than you can."

Clara snickered and said, "You just don't want someone to take pictures of you in an ugly jumper."

"Clara, I told you, I don't _need_ a jumper." The Doctor said with a scowl.

"I know, I know." Clara rolled her eyes. "Superior Time Lord biology."

When they arrived in town, the Doctor was kind of annoyed with how irritatingly _festive_ the place was. Too many fairy lights and over-decorated trees. One of the redeeming features was the many tasty Christmas treats that were abundant in this village. He could hear his companion happily say, "It smells amazing here!"

"This village is known for its baked goods." the Doctor replied. "Stay away from some of the drinks, though. Some of them have Noellian rum in them."

"I like rum." Clara said with a shrug.

"All right, but if you end up kissing complete strangers, don't say I didn't warn you." the Time Lord said brusquely.

He knew that it had inhibition-lowering effects on both humans and Time Lords. He had experienced it in the past with a prior companion. Mistletoe was also involved, leading to kissing and then some. He and Rose hadn't been able to look at each other in the eye for nearly a week afterwards. Jack had teased them mercilessly for almost a month. No, the Doctor did not want to get any Noellian rum in his system, especially if Clara was similarly incapacitated. The human female in question rolled her eyes and groaned, "_Doctor_!"

"The food is safe, though." the Doctor explained. "Generally speaking."

Clara spotted a bakery with some a display full of delicious-looking baked goods. She immediately grabbed the Doctor's hand, pulling him over to the shop. "Clara, you know what I said about personal space!" the Time Lord yelped.

When they arrived at the bakery, the scent of cinnamon and other Christmas spices filled the air. The Doctor had to admit that it smelled delicious in here. Clara turned to him and askied, "What should we get?"

The shopkeeper pointed to a tray full of rolls, which were stuffed with caramellized apples and sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar. Each of them was about the size of the Doctor's fist. "You should try these." the shopkeeper suggested.

The Doctor nodded and said, "We'll take two of them."

"You got it!" the shopkeeper said with a grin.

The human-looking alien took a couple of the pasteries and put them in a box.

The Doctor removed a small bag from his pocket, took a few coins out, and traded them for the box. "Thanks!" Clara said happily, taking the box from the shopkeeper's hands.

The two then headed out of the shop. There was a vendor outside selling hot cocoa. Clara looked at the Time Lord and said, "We should get some hot cocoa."

The Doctor let out a sigh and said, "By 'we' you mean me, don't you?"

Clara shrugged and said, "You're the one with the money."

The Doctor rolled his eyes and headed over to the stand. Clara smiled at the vendor and said, "We'll have two hot cocoas, please."

"All right." the vendor said. "That'll be four pishkas."

The Doctor once again reached into the coin bag and pulled out four coins, which he exchanged for the hot cocoa. Clara then spotted another stand, which was selling roasted chestnuts. "Look, Doctor!" She exclaimed. "Over there!"

"What is it now?" the Doctor asked. He then spotted the stand. "I suppose you want to go over there, too."

"Yep." Clara replied.

The Time Lord sighed and said, "All right, I'll buy some."

The Doctor headed over to the vendor and said, "I'll have a small bag of roasted chestnuts."

The vendor nodded and took out a small bag. He then scooped some chestnuts and put them into the bag. He then held his hand out and siad, "Three pishkas, please."

The Doctor exchanged the money for the food. He then began to walk away. Clara rolled her eyes and turned to the vendor. "Thank you!" she said. "Happy Christmas!"

The vendor grinned and said, "Happy Christmas to you, miss."

Clara then headed after the Time Lord. The Doctor spotted a snow-free bench and headed over to it to sit down. Clara sat down next to him and opened the bag of chestnuts before popping one into her mouth. "These are good." she sighed.

The Doctor took one of the pasteries out of the box and took a bite. It was still warm and it was sweet and flaky. Clara took a sip of the hot cocoa and let out a contented sigh. "Try the hot cocoa." she suggested.

The Doctor took a sip of his own hot cocoa. Begrudgingly, he admitted, "It is pretty good, I suppose."

He then reached into the bag and snatched a chestnut. Clara gave him a half-hearted glare as he ate the Chrismas treat. After a while, they had finished their hot cocoa and finished up the chestnuts. The Doctor tossed the cups and the empty bag into a nearby bin. Clara looked around at the variety of shops. She then asked, "Can we go shopping?"

The Doctor let out a sigh and handed Clara one hundred pishkas. "Knock yourself out." he said. "Try not to spend it all."

Clara smiled at the Time Lord before giving him a quick peck on the cheek. The Doctor's mouth fell open. His companion smiled at him again and said, "Thanks!"

She then headed off into the market. The Doctor sighed and glanced down at his money bag. He then took a look at some of the other shops. It was Christmas on this planet, so he might as well buy something while he was there.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

As the Doctor made his way through the market, he browsed the variety of goods and tried to keep himself distracted. It was most likely just his imagination, but he could almost still feel the warm spot on his cheek where Clara had kissed him. He briefly wondered how those lips would feel on his lips. He shook his head and frowned, dismissing that thought. Clara obviously wouldn't be interested in doing that sort of thing with him. He refused to think about it. After a while the Doctor spotted a stall that was selling beauty and body products. On a whim, he headed over to browse. To his surprise, he spotted a bottle of that perfume from Zelvynar III that she was fond of. She didn't have any left because he had accidentally spilled it. It was hard to come by due to it being difficult to make, so he was surprised to see it in a Holidayan Christmas market. It didn't have a tag on it, so he didn't know the price. The Doctor pointed at the bottle and asked, "How much for the perfume?"

"One hundred pishkas." the merchant replied.

"One hundred?" the Doctor scoffed. "I'll pay eighty."

"I'm not going to haggle." the merchant said haughtily. "One hundred pishkas."

The Docctor scowled at the human-like alien and said, "I've never paid more than the equivalent of fifty pishkas for this product. Someone like you wouldn't know the true value of this perfume."

The merchant sniffed and said, "Two hundred pishkas."

"Listen here, you pudding brain. You-" the Doctor tried to say, but the merhant interrupted him.

"Three hundred pishkas."

"You can't expect me to pay three hundred pishkas for a bottle of perfume!" the Doctor complained.

"Do you want me to go up to four hundred?" the merchant asked.

"No." the Doctor said "Are you sure that you can't lower the price?"

The merchant smirked and said, "I'm not lowering the price, now get lost. You're not going to waste three hundred pishkas on one product."

The Doctor frowned and glared at the merchant. He then glanced down at the bottle. There had to be a solution. Three hundred pishkas was a lot to pay for a bottle of Zelvynari perfume. Was the merchant right? Was it worth spending thee hundred pishkas on an eighty pishka gift?

The merchant glared at the Doctor and said, "Four hundred pishkas. Either buy something or get lost. I know that you're going to go away because whatever lady you want that perfume for, there's no way that she's worth spending that much money on."

The Doctor said nothing and just glared at the merchant.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When the Doctor ran into Clara again, her arms were loaded with bags and boxes of various items. The Time Lord couldn't help but be amused. "I see that you'e made good use of those pishkas. Do you have any left?"

"Sorry." Clara replied. "I spent them all."

The Doctor wasn't all that surprised. He also wouldn't be surprised if she made him carry the stuff. He noticed his companion's arms getting tired and let out a sigh. The Time Lord said, "I'll carry some of the bags."

Clara smiled happily and handed some of the bags over to the Doctor. She still kept one bag with her, though. He could see a decoratively wrapped box in the bag. Probably a present for a family member. The two headed through the village to check out the other things. Slowly, the snowfall began to grow heavier and the wind began to pick up. Clara began to shiver. The Doctor glanced over at the nearby inn and said, "Let's take shelter in the inn."

Clara nodded and followed the Time Lord into the building. A few minutes later, the weather had developed into a full-blown blizzard. The petite brunette looked out the window and asked, "What now?"

"We'll have to stay here until the blizzard subsides." the Doctor replied. "It should be over in the morning." He headed over to the innkeeper and asked, "How much for two rooms for one night?"

The innkeeper looked through a book before replying, "We just have one room left. It has one bed with a twin mattress."

The Doctor's face turned even paler. Clara noticed this and said, "Doctor, we've shared a bed before."

"We have." the Doctor admitted. "You can have it. I'll take the floor."

Clara rolled her eyes and said, "Doctor, it'll be no different than any other time. Besides, you'd probably get a sore back from it."

The Time Lord noticed that Clara still seemed a bit cold. Apparently, so did the innkeeper. The human-like alien said, "Your girlfriend looks cold."

"She's not my gir-" the Doctor tried to say, but he was interrupted.

"We have some hot spiced cider for one pishka each if you're interested." the innkeeper suggested.

Clara got a thoughtful expression on her face. She then looked at the Doctor and said, "Hot spiced cider does sound good."

The Doctor thought about it for a second before nodding. "Spiced cider it is, then."

The Doctor gave the innkeeper two pishkas before sitting down at a table with Clara. A few minutes later, a young woman appeared with two large, steaming mugs of hot spiced cider. Clara inhaled deeply before letting out a happy sigh and taking a sip. She over at the Doctor, who was taking a sip as well. "It's a little boozy." the commented.

"You'll be fine." the Doctor said. "We both will. The alcohol percentage of this drink isn't that high. You could four and only get buzzed."

Clara nodded and took another sip of the drink. She and the Doctor then looked to their side, watching and listening to the crackling fire. He admitted to himself that it was kind of cozy in the inn.

Over the next few hours, he and Clara had each ordered a few more mugs of hot cider, about four each. The Doctor, surprisingly, was feeling the effects, too. He and Clara stood up, but the human female staggered and almost fell to the floor. Fortunately, the Doctor managed to catch her. Clara giggled and said, "I think I'm drunk."

The Doctor frowned and said, "To bed with you, then."

Clara giggled again and said, "Ha. You said bed."

The Doctor, though intoxicated himself, still had enough control to roll his eyes. The human and the Time Lord then made their way up to their room. Once they were there, the Doctor got out his sonic screwdriver and scanned the spot on Clara's jumper where she had spilled some cider. He immediately blanched. "Clara." he said cautiously.

"What?" Clara replied.

"The cider drink had Noellian rum in it." The Doctor said quietly.

"I like rum." Clara had a dopey grin on her face.

"It's not funny!" The Doctor hissed. "It lowers inhibitions and I can feel myself being more affected as we sleep."

Clara giggled again and staggered to her feet. "I get to see a drunk Doctor!"

The Doctor let out a frustrated sigh, feeling his faculties slowly slipping away. His head was growing increasingly foggy. "Doctor." Clara whisper-yelled.

"What?" the Doctor said.

Clara giggled and pointed to the ceiling. The Doctor looked up. Hanging above them was a sprig of mistletoe. A thought occurred to the Time Lord, but it was swiftly blown away by his drunkenness. He looked down at Clara. She was looking straight at him, biting her lip. Their eyes met. A series of thoughts escaped the Doctor once more. The two of them stood still for several long seconds before suddenly, the Doctor seized Clara by the face and smashed his lips into hers. The two snogged furiously for almost a full minute before they parted, both panting. Clara giggled and said, "How about a surprise Christmas present, Doctor?"

"Where is it?" the Time Lord asked.

The human gave a half-sultry look before whispering, "In bed."

The Doctor let out a groan and allowed his companion to lead him to bed. Clara then began to unbutton the Time Lord's waistcoat, fumbling a few times before managing it. Unfortunately, she didn't seem to be able to manage the buttons of his shirt. Without thinking of future consequences, the Doctor said, "Rip it."

Clara then yanked the shirt open, sending the Doctor's buttons flying. She happily nuzzled the small patch of grey hair on his sternum. She then backed away and pulled her jumper off. Underneath was a vest top and her bra, which the Doctor expertly removed. Next came Clara's jeans, followed by the Doctor's trousers. Now Clara was only in her knickers. She looked at the red question marks on the Time Lord's boxers and giggled. "What?" the Doctor asked.

"Your pants are adorable." Clara said with a smile.

"They're not adorable." the Doctor huffed. "They're _cool_."

"They'd look cooler on the floor." Clara said, running her fingers along the Doctor's groin. He had gotten considerably harder while they were disrobing.

The Time Lord quickly removed his pants, flinging them to the side. Clara then stripped her last garment off before pulling the Doctor over to the bed. They landed in a pile of tangled limbs, both giggling madly. The Time Lord had enough presence of mind to reach between Clara's legs. "Gods, you're wet!" the Doctor whispered, awe-struck

"All for you." Clara said with a smirk. "Now fuck me."

"Language." the Doctor scolded his companion.

"You haven't heard language." Clara said.

She then pulled the Doctor down to her and whispered every single filthy thing she wanted to do to him, every filthy thing she had ever thought of doing to him. The Time Lord's eyes widened as he took all this in. By the time she had finished, he was fully erect. Clara grabbed him by the hand and said, "Inside me. Now."

The Doctor spoke calmly, as if he wasn't completely turned on and blitzed out of his mind. "You're the boss."

He then took himself in hand and guided himself into this companion's warm, wet heat. They started at an easy rhythm and the Doctor tried to take his time, but they both were too heated to take it easy for long. The Time Lord seized the human by the hips and began to thrust into her harder and faster. Looking back, he would realized that he had a bit rough with her. However, from the sounds Clara was making, it was clear that she didn't mind that he was being rough at all. The Doctor took his companion's face in his hands and sloppily kissed her, their tongues tangling as they mashed mouths. Within minutes, the Doctor could feel the telltale tightening in his balls that indicated that he was getting close. From the sounds Clara was making, she was getting close as well. The Time Lord had the presence of mind to bring a hand down to rub on his companions' clitoris, bringing her to completion with a gasp. He continued to thrust into her before finally climaxing with a loud yelp of, "_Clara_!"

The two panted for a few minutes before separating. The Doctor took Clara into his arms, nuzzling the top of her head. Within seconds, they both were fast asleep.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The Doctor woke up in the morning with a pounding headache and a very naked Clara Oswald next to him. He rolled out of bed, falling off and hitting the floor. "Oww." he groaned.

The thud seemed to wake Clara up. She moved to the edge and looked down at him. "Doctor?"

"Yeah?" the Time Lord mumbled.

The Doctor took in his naked state, then Clara's. He paused for a moment, refusing to look at Clara, and then said, "Either I was dreaming, or while we were drunk last night..." He paused before asking, "Did we-"

"Yes." Clara replied. "Yes, we did."

The Doctor buried his face in his hands and groaned, "Oh, gods! I'm so sorry, Clara!"

Clara giggled and said, "You have nothing to be sorry about. It was good."

"You were inebriated..." the Time Lord mumbled.

"So were you." the Impossible Girl replied.

"We had sex." the Doctor said, "This is complex. You did things that you normally would never want to do. This could ruin our friendship."

Clara rolled her eyes and said, "Doctor, if I hadn't wanted to do it, I wouldn't have done it. It doesn't _make_ me want you. It just lowered our inhibitions a bit."

"You mean," The Doctor was dumbfounded. "you _wanted_ to do it?"

Clara rolled her eyes and said, "You are so dense. I've been giving hints for ages."

"When?" the puzzled Time Lord asked.

"Like on the Orient Express." Clara replied. "I was being _very_ hinty. On Christmas, too."

"Oh." the Doctor said. "So, what now?"

"We can do it again." Clara said. "Though maybe I should give you my other present, first."

The Doctor raised a mighty eyebrow. So the sex wasn't his only present? Clara got up and reached into one of her bags before pulling out the decoratively wrapped box. She smiled and handed it to the Time Lord. He looked down at the box. "Open it!" Clara urged.

The Doctor unwrapped the box and then opened it. His eyes widened when he saw the contents. Inside was a pair of Doc Martens, in his exact size. He looked at Clara, his mouth wide open. "I noticed that your old ones were getting really worn out." the Impossible Girl explained. "I thought I'd get you a new pair."

"Clara, these are eighty pishkas." the Doctor said, astounded.

"You're worth it, Doctor." Clara said with a smile. "To me, you're worth a million pishkas, credits, or whatever the currency might be."

The Doctor smiled awkwardly before heading over to his coat. He reached into a pocket before taking out a small box, which was wrapped in fairly cheap wrapping paper. He held it out to his companion. "It's your present." the Time Lord explained.

Clara took the present and unwrapped it. She opened the box and removed what was inside. When she saw what was, she let out a soft gasp. She looked directly at the Doctor. "It's that Zelvynari perfume that I like. It was four hundred pishkas at the market!"

The Doctor smiled at Clara and said, "To me, you are worth a million pishkas, Clara Oswald."

Clara lunged at the Doctor and wrapped her arms around him. Without thinking, he returned the hug. They held each other for a few minutes before separating. The Time Lord smiled down at his companion. He took her face in his hands, tilting it up before lowering his face to hers and gently pressing his lips to hers. When they separated, she smiled up at him. "So, how about a repeat of your first present?" she said coyly. "You're quite the screamer."

The Doctor huffed and said, "I am _not_ a screamer."

Clara rolled her eyes and said, "I lost count of the number of times you shouted my name while we were making love."

"Shut up and get back in bed." the Doctor sighed.

Clara playfully swatted the Time Lord's arm and said, "Who's the boss here?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes before grabbing Clara and laying her on the bed with him on top of her. They made love for a second time, this time more slowly, gently, and with something that might even be described as love. When they were finished, they laid together, holding each other closely. Clara nuzzled the Doctor's chest again and said, "Happy Christmas, Doctor."

The Doctor kissed the top of his lover's head and whispered back, "Happy Christmas, Clara."


End file.
